Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Don't miss the half-lit first quarter moon rise tonight — Here's what to look for - Space

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Procter & Gamble to cut 7,000 jobs as part of broader restructuring - CNBC

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I can read

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Do you think Lady Gaga and Celine Dion have rehearsed separately for their performance at the Olympics opening ceremony?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I actually pay taxes

David Beckham scores a winner with the royal circle - BBC

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t buy bullshit

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

"D Gukesh Was Blindly...": Magnus Carlsen's First Reaction After Loss To Indian GM - NDTV Sports

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for fakery

Why is only the left side of my vagina bleeding, on and off?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have complete contempt for traitorism

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

How do professional musicians handle their equipment during gigs? Do they bring their own or use the venue's sound system?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Father’s Day 2025: 28 gifts dads will actually want - The Verge

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Delete Every App On Your Smartphone That’s On This List - Forbes

I see through liars

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Food and fitness make or break success on weight loss meds, report finds - ABC News

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Novo's Ozempic linked to rare cases of serious eye disorder, EU regulator says - KSL News

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I can count

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

‘We’re right at the epicenter’ - Meduza

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have a reading level above third grade

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.